New Moon is a movie about teenagers, one a vampire and the other a lumbering pale girl, who experienced the topsy-turvy emotions of being in love. It’s settled. The plot is lame and cheesy.
Edward. I’m sorry to say but a man like Edward Cullen is nothing but a fantasy. And it’s not just the part about him being immortal. A handsome, strong, witty, intelligent, talented, profound, extremely loving and thoughtful man simply does not exist. The character is too perfect. Even his flaws look cute. Yes, love makes all things beautiful. But if you go around looking and wishing for an Edward to sweep you off of your clumsy feet, you’re up for a big fall.
Bella is a lamb.. a stupid, clumsy lamb. She pranced into the arms of danger when she allowed herself to fall in love with a man who admitted that he wanted nothing more than to kill her. At 18 when the man she adored told her the she was not the one he wanted, she went into a slobfest for more than 3 months. She even made terrible decisions that could have brought more drama into her life. She was weak and extremely insecure.
Jacob. If anything, he has to know when enough is enough. Would I call him emotional? No. He was the one who was able to control his emotions better than anyone else. He stepped back when Bella needed space. He steps in when she needed him. But like I said, know when enough is enough.
It is an unrealistically corny movie. But c’mon, who wouldn’t admit to feeling those exact same emotions (or at least would’ve want to feel them) back when we were still young and foolish.
I used to dream of an Edward. When I thought I found him, I became as stupid and as senseless as Bella. I have had nice people to be my Jacob’s and I’ve hurt them in ways more than one. Since then I’ve come to an agreement with myself that I wouldn’t look for an Edward. I would never be as stupid as Bella. I would never again use people like Jacob to help me heal myself.
Once in a while I find myself lurching in these same situations over again. But I have my scar to remind me not to tread that road of emotional upheaval.
I am a hopeless romantic hiding beneath the veils of cynicism; torn between a dream and the reality. I’ve discarded my naiveté about romance and I’m trying to learn how it is to truly love without losing my mind.
I've still lots to learn. But I'll get there.
I just have to do this.
Internet addiction. That’s my alibi for not updating. Facebook, Twitter, Lookbook, Chictopia, and shopping through Multiply. Ayaayaaay! I need to get a hold of myself.
Anyway, I’ve been reading my friends’ blogs and I realized I have to write about my Puerto Galera trip a week ago. So here goes.. as far as my very faulty short term memory serves me….
The girls have been planning a trip since last year, but plans only pushed through a week ago. We went to PG (go figure). I was very glad that my parents allowed me to go. Well, of course, I know for a fact that the people I’m with were plus factors for the “permission granted” as they were close family friends and church mates, siguro my dad thought they were all “good”. Haha. Kidding.
I’m not a fan of sleeping that’s why I didn’t have trouble waking up at 3:30am to prepare for the trip. I didn’t sleep much on the way there either. I spent the hours stuck in traffic in SLEX looking out the window and trying not to think about anything. That was when I saw one of my professors. He was, of course, driving a car and I couldn’t possibly try to wave him down to say hello. But even if I could, I wouldn’t. haha. It was just a pleasant surprise to see him.
When we arrived at Batangas Port, I was a bit anxious. I have never planned a vacation on my own. I have never gone on a trip without having secured reservations first. During our trip, C and M said we would just deal with everything as we go along; no reservations whatsoever. Good thing we had “I” and A with us. They were the ones who handled “transactions”. I felt I was in good hands. Naks!
After a one - hour boat ride, we finally arrived at PG. My first thought was that it’s a smaller version of Boracay, mainly because of the numerous stalls of souvenir shops along the beach. It was highly commercialized, just like Boracay. The difference is, it’s way cheaper in PG.
It was lunch when we arrived and I have not eaten a decent breakfast - I was starving. So I was silently urging them to just get any hotel room so we could go eat. But “I”was very meticulous; checking the rooms, comparing prices… it’s a good thing though because we were able to save a lot of moola because of his undisputed haggling skills.
Food in PG was nothing special. Period.
What I particularly enjoyed during our trip was the banana boat ride. Snorkeling was fun too, but the current was just so strong. Na-lamog lang kami. Although the banana boat ride wasn’t painless, it was more fun than being dragged into coral reefs. Di ba Jenna? Before we went onto the “banana” my friends said that the experience would be like riding the Space Shuttle in EK. But it felt nothing like that. Space Shuttle is more frightening. The BBR (figure it out again) experience was just.. chill. Haha. The exciting part is the “Drop”. Although, thinking about it now, I didn’t enjoy salt water up my nostrils. Ugh.
So I guess PG is nothing special to me. Food, accommodations, the beach – it was just nice but not extraordinarily nice. What I did love about my weekend there was that I was able to spend time with my most trusted friends. Some of these friends I have known for years. I know they genuinely love me and care for me. I also enjoyed discovering new and interesting things about these friends. Haha. We should do that more often – the “tough questions – tough answers” portion. Loved it!
Ooh this is getting a bit long. And my short term memory is about to fail me. I couldn’t probably write all the details but know that this is trip is going down my “top list”.
Credits:
To the organizers, C, M and J; thank you for researching and for not reserving anything. Haha. It made the experience more exciting. Seriously, thanks for coordinating. It must have been a bit frustrating lalo na if kami yung kasama. Haha.
To Ate A and I: Thanks for being the best “hagglers”. Haha. Thanks for taking initiative always. You two are always a step ahead of everyone else.
To the Beloved Princess: I enjoyed sharing a bed with you. Behave e. haha. Thanks for the devotion that morning. I’ll share with you what I experienced pa pala.
Kuya M: Now I know not to talk to you when you lack sleep. Haha. Kulit. Thanks for being our “kuya”.
To S: Thanks for coming, Had lots of fond (and not so fond) memories with you. Stay annoying. Kidding.
To those who weren’t able to go: be sure to be on the next trip. Palawan daw on December! Woot!”,
I’ve been on the internet for a little over 6 hours already. (Don’t mention anything to my Dad. He already tried to limit my internet usage by asking me to “deposit” the laptop in his bedroom by 9pm! So I use the psp from then onwards. Very sneaky me!) Anyway, I’ve been trying to look for the oxford flats I so wanted. I didn’t find them. But instead I found a dozen other pairs I want. (Visit soleshoes.multiply.) Online shopping could really be addicting.
Aside from my renewed and rejuvenated compulsion to shop for clothes and shoes, I also had a revived sense of belongingness as I spent the past few weekends with my friends.
First of, I’ve been chatting with J more often now. Her passion for fashion is one thing I really admire about her. She could make 50-peso shirts look really expensive. I mean, it’s her style. Basta. Love it. These past few days we’ve been exchanging links and photos of shoes and clothes and bags we want to buy. Of all my friends I rely on her when I need a fashion fix. Love her to pieces!
Back here in ph, I have a few friends that I envy when it comes to being fashion forward. Also, I covet their height; they are all model-tall. Among these friends, JZ is the most daring when it comes to fashion. A.M., however has a more polished and sophisticated style. M, AM’s little sister, isn’t so far behind her ate’s footsteps when it comes to dressing up. Her style is more playful, quirky and fun.
Heto na yung kwento. Last Sunday, as I was lounging in my Dad’s office, these three stomped in and asked me if I wanted to go to Trinoma with them. I asked them why and they answered, “Titingin lang ng shoes.” It was amusing but I went with them and had fun. ‘Ze boys came with us and had a hard time waiting for us rummage all the stores in Trinoma. I bought a pair of heeled oxfords in Charles and Keith. I wore them this morning and felt tall. Hahaha.
That trip to Trinoma was the start of my downward spiral into the pits of being a shopaholic again. Oh and I switched magazines from C to Preview.
Veering away from my “fashionista” friends, I spent the most hilarious day with the boys yesterday. It was unplanned but fun nonetheless. It was understandable that I didn’t even feel a bit awkward with them since I’ve known a few of them since 2nd year HS. They talked about their crushes, teasing each other every chance they get. I asked them about their “type” of girls, their ex girl friends and well, we also talked about fashion. At least L and I did. Haha. Jumpers? Haha!
I’ve had fun weekends. Thanks to friends. Miss you all so much.
It’s my birthday week! I’m planning a “Game Night” on Friday. Excited!
I had to stop myself from listing down everything! haha! I'll be turning 24 soon. And gawd do I have a lot of catching up to do. Have to run after what's left of my life! I know 24 is young, but I want to start young. Anyway, I'm just having fun today. Don't want this entry to turn into a sappy pity party post.
Oh I read from Sarah Meier's tweet that writing about how you felt after a day is better than rambling on about what actually happened. So maybe I'll try that more often.
*PS. Forgive mispelled words or wrong grammar. I was typing real quick. And no time to edit now.
__ I have a happy heart! =)
Relationship requires a lot of effort.
This I learned through friendships strained by distance. I am not really good at long distance relationships. I find it difficult and tedious to keep in touch through the internet. Maybe my detachment stems from the feeling that it doesn’t actually feel like you’re talking to a person when you’re reading an email or when you’re chatting through YM.
One of my best friends moved to China because of her work. It has been months since I really talked to her. And I wanted so badly to tell her about the things that are happening to me. Not serious things, really. Just day to day nothingness that usually make their way to her through a text message or a phone call. But now that she’s miles away, an email of, say, how I thought I elicited the attention of a certain med student, doesn’t really seem appropriate. Parang I feel that it would just take up a bulk of her email space. So I just let nothingness after nothingness pass and when I finally catch her online and she asks what the “latest” is, nothing of significance comes to mind.
I rarely update her. And it saddens me that I couldn’t go the extra mile to send her a worthwhile email.
My “China” friend and I are separated by distance. And it’s difficult. But I also have friendships that are strained not because of distance but by well, I really don’t know. A few posts ago I said I became cold and indifferent. So maybe it started there. I just got tired of texting and replying to text messages. I was so caught up with everything I had to do and I lost track of everything and everyone else. I don’t do well in multi-tasking. And my puny brain could only handle so much trouble. When I set my mind on a goal, I focus and forget everything else.
So my relationships were strained. And I’m trying to get them back in shape. But it takes effort and time. I’m learning. And I just want my friends to know (especially my fashion police, my wedding dress designer, my ultimate “kakampi”) that I miss the great friendships I share with you all.
I miss how we could just stay up well into the night and just talk about anything. I miss how we could just decide to meet up and pig out on pizza and ice cream. I miss how you could make me feel better by taking my side even if I know that you’re a bit biased. I miss how we could spend the afternoon just mall ratting. I miss you, more than words could say. And heck, I know you’ll say I’m baduy and jologs, but who cares. I know you miss me too.
I've heard people complain about technology cutting personal relationships and replacing them with cyber ones. But when put into a situation where personal relationships are severed by distance, technology is one fine friend.
Many mourned the death of King of Pop, Michael Jackson. I do not in any way demean the man’s great and unmatched contribution to pop culture, music and history. But I think the death of President Corazon Aquino merits more attention, if not from the whole world, at least from our nation.
History is one of my least favorite subjects. And I was only taught to be a critical thinker when I entered college. So needless to say, I know little about Cory and her administration. What I do know is that she was a strong, determined, well – educated woman, who fought for her family, her faith and her nation’s freedom.
My parents are Martial Law Babies. And it was inevitable that they became sentimental when they learned of Cory’s death.
My dad said that Cory’s death somehow represents the marking down of their generation’s history. Sooner or later, young people would only have heard of the Martial Law, the People Power Revolution, Ninoy and Cory inside their history classes. Soon, Cory’s memory and her passion for democracy would only be read in books.
My mom on the other hand, chose to see the “drama” in all of these. She said that Ninoy wrote a poem for Cory when he was in prison. I think it has the lines “I fell in love with the same woman three times…” or something like that. She was almost in tears when she said that she hopes Ninoy and Cory would find each other on the other side of life.
Do you want to know what my reaction was upon hearing about the news? I immediately thought of Kris and how she would present herself before the media. I’m sorry for my superficiality. I was sick and I slept through the whole Saturday. It was just today that I fully understood how much Cory meant to the Filipino people.
“I would rather die a meaningful death than to live a meaningless life.” - Cory
I think President Aquino lived a life brimming with meaning and purpose. And in her death, the passion for which she did the things she so bravely accomplished reignited the fire in each and every Filipino's heart.
A few weeks ago I was given a rare opportunity to be with some 400 PNP Trainees in Angeles, Pampanga. Our church was requested to conduct a “Purpose Driven Life” Seminar for the said people. As far as I know, General Razon ordered that PNP officials undergo PDL Seminars as a requirement under their program to improve values among policemen. So anyway, my Dad wanted me to go help out at that seminar. I really didn’t want to but since I am eager to please, I went.
I was really hesitant because I haven’t read PDL in so long and I didn’t know who were coming with me. The night before the seminar, I was even trying to get out of it by telling organizers that I don’t have a means of going to the meeting place at such an early hour. But my brother decided to be generous and told me to bring the car. With no more reasons to back out, I was driving at 6 in the morning, with no idea what I was up for.
It was raining when we arrived at the training “camp” in Angeles. It was muddy and I was worried about my shoes when all of a sudden a few guys, looking all the same with their “semi – kal” hairs, white shirts and maong pants, came running toward the car - they have no shoes on. They were tasked to help us with the equipment we had.
When I entered the hall, the trainees were all seated on the floor. I then asked one of my companions where the girls were. I was told that they were the ones in front. I remember I even argued that those were also male trainees, because well, they look like boys. They had short hair cuts and had the same outfit on. From the back, they really looked like boys. I instantly felt awkward and in my most pasimple way, removed the necklace I had on. It was my dire attempt to look simple enough so that these girls wouldn’t be intimidated by how I look. I was really worried. I didn’t know how I was going to relate and talk to “roughened” up girls. There I was in my pretty clothes and shoes, with my hair neatly combed and my face all made up – and then there they were, with hairs cut to the bare minimum, with plain white shirts and maong pants. I didn’t think less of them, I just thought I would not in any way be able to “connect” with them.
When I had the chance to speak to some of the girls, I realized we were more alike than I thought. They have boy troubles just like me, they have vanity concerns just like me, and they have great great dreams.
I learned that all the trainees should be a graduate of a four year course. Most of them studied criminology. Still, it left me dumbfounded when I found out that some of the trainees were nurses, lawyers, engineers and there was even a dentist. I was quick to ask, “Why?”. I worded the question carefully. I told them that I was curious. But in all honesty, I was wondering why girls with a degree and a chance to work as “something” else would choose to go through such a rigorous training to become a policewoman.
The answers I got were varied. Some wanted to serve, some wanted to prove that they could handle the training, but majority of them wanted to be like their fathers who were policemen themselves. But one common reason is the financial benefits of being a PNP officer.
No matter what the reason, it pained me to see girls, some even younger than me, having had to cut their hair, eat in less than 10 counts, train as much as boys train, and be cut off from their loved ones for 6 months.
Necessity is often the driving force of the universe. These girls chose to be in their present circumstance because of need. I may not understand why. I may feel violated by how they are being trained. But it is necessary.
They said when they are finished with their training they would go to a spa and have body scrubs and facials. That made me smile. Even though externally we look different, we still have the same inner core; a girl’s heart.
