Stop Self - Medicating!

Hello world! =)

Eons and eons have passed before I finally had the decency to update this blog. I had a lot in my hands the past few weeks; A few things I had to finish in school and several things I needed to do for my dad. Also I have been spending more and more time with people... in the flesh; I’ve been going out to lunch or for coffee with some of my friends in church, and it’s always refreshing.

Anyway, through out this week I have been learning a lot about bondages. I learned that we could unknowingly be in bondage. Oh, let me explain what I mean by bondage first. In Breaking Free by Beth Moore, I learned that bondage is anything that hinders you from truly experiencing the benefits God wants you to enjoy. Some of these benefits are peace and satisfaction.

I enjoyed reading and studying the book. And through it I realized that one of the things that had been keeping me in chains is.... pride. No surprise there. Pride has caused me to deny that I was feeling empty. I know almost everyone could relate to the feeling of a deep insatiable thirst for something. But every time you try to figure out what it is you’re pining for, you can’t. This “emptiness” has brought about mood swings, seasons of depression and a lot of frustrated tears. I would then try to fill up the void (of unknown origin) with anything I can lay my hands on. It was like trying to cure a sickness that hasn’t been properly diagnosed. In my case, I filled up my life and time with activities. I had to be busy so that I wouldn’t feel the gnawing pain of emptiness. The result? I was always tired and irritable and I still had that ugly empty feeling.

In medicine, if you have Tuberculosis you wouldn’t take medicines that were specifically made to cure, say, Leukemia. That wouldn’t cure you; in fact it may even worsen your condition. Similarly, I was trying to self – medicate because I didn’t want to admit that something was wrong. I was striving hard to look ok when all I had to do was turn to the Healer.

Only the one who created the intricate twists and turns of my being could solve my problem of emptiness. Only He could saturate my longings with the greatest of things. And I am excited!


Just STOP. Stop taking in things you don’t need; things that wouldn’t do you good Just stop and say, “I need You.”.

CONTENTMENT is the attitude of gratefulness and peace
born out of trust and surrender to the will of God in every circumstance.

As I was browsing through the net last Saturday, I came across this story. During that time I was in an anxious mood. I was thinking about the very near future where I would fend for myself and eventually for my own family. But as I read the story I realized that I don't need a lot to be happy. Read on.

Philip Parham tells the story of a rich industrialist who was disturbed to find a fisherman sitting lazily beside his boat. "Why aren't you out there fishing?" he asked.

"Because I've caught enough fish for today," said the fisherman.
"Why don't you catch more fish than you need?' the rich man asked.
"What would I do with them?"

"You could earn more money," came the impatient reply, "and buy a better boat so you could go deeper and catch more fish. You could purchase nylon nets, catch even more fish, and make more money. Soon you'd have a fleet of boats and be rich like me."

The fisherman asked, "Then what would I do?"
"You could sit down and enjoy life," said the industrialist.
"What do you think I'm doing now?" the fisherman replied as he looked placidly out to sea.

Our Daily Bread, May 18, 1994.

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Contentment, at first, feels like sour graping for me.

"Ooh I really want an SLR camera. But I can't afford it right now. I do have a point and shoot. And besides I'd rather be the subject than the photographer."

Sour - graping, I tell you. It does make me feel better though; convincing myself that I don't really want something that I really want. But after sometime, sour - graping turns into a realization. A realization that says "I really do want that thing, but I can't afford it, so maybe later on, when I have the money and I still want it badly, then maybe I'd buy it."

Why so chatty with contentment? Well, living as me, I'd say I have been pretty much handed everything I needed and most of what I wanted. I have experienced living in luxury when I was young. But I have also experienced living in lack. I guess what I mean is that I have realized what really matters.

The desire for beautiful, shinny things is still there. But I have learned to suppress those desires to make way for things that are of more value.

At the risk sounding preachy, I'd like to post my favorite verse at the moment, " I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ. Phil 3:8"

Little Goals

Last Wednesday, for lack of anything to do, Gayle and I decided to have new ID’s made. It only took five minutes. We had new ID’s, with the UP Centennial Logo. If you look at our ID’s almost 7years ago and compare it with what we have now, my gosh, so much has changed. And I’m not only talking about the ID format itself, but our pictures as well. I looked so jologs then! Haha.

Anyway, after meeting with Pau we decided to text everyone and go to Gayle’s house to hang out. We watched Shutter. (Well, they watched the movie, I had my eyes covered almost the whole time! Haha)

After that, as we we’re having snacks Gayle’s Dad, who was eating with us, suddenly asked us a question, “Do you plan your life?” No one answered. We just looked at each other and stared. Personally, I do have plans, but my plans are a bit general and vague. Also, my goals are mostly short – termed. So the question really caught me by surprise and I don’t think Tito would be impressed with what I had to say. So I kept quiet.

He then proceeded by telling us a story about a guy climbing a mountain. He was with a partner. On their way up, they had some difficulty and one of the guys fell. He broke his arm and he was in terrible pain. At that point, he had two choices, either go on or give up and die.

The guy decided to go one in spite of the pain. To keep him going, he set short goals instead of thinking of the whole distance he has to cover. He aimed to cover a certain distance in 20 minutes.

Tito said that we should set achievable goals. We shouldn’t think ahead of ourselves because we usually would get discouraged. Realistic goals would keep us from disappointment.

Examples of achievable goals for October:
- Finish the pustisos I am making by the end of next week.
- Finish my bunot requirements by the end of the sem.

Indeed, having achieved something by the end of a month or a week or even a day, does a lot in our willingness to wake up and start another day, to finish another goal. And these little goals make up an ultimate goal. Life seems easier this way, don’t you think? “,