Way Off Balance

I got sick this week. At first I thought it was just because I ate lunch late, but as I was cringing because of the pain in my tummy, I figured it couldn't be just because of hunger. The stomachache worsened and later that night I was running a fever. I could hardly move a muscle.

Just this morning as I was telling my patient of my ordeal last Wednesday, he told me, "Baka naman na-oover fatigue ka na." I could have laughed that very minute. I don't think I could have been that tired to be sick. The amount of school work I was doing wasn't enough to have caused fatigue. But as I was trying hard not to laugh at his remark, I started to recount what I had been doing that week.

I was up until 2 in the morning the night before, spent the whole morning cleaning the condo, hardly had any lunch, went to the mall to watch a movie, went home, got sick.

Ok. So maybe I was a bit tired. And I just realized that I was tired not because of the things that I needed to do, like maybe finish the pustiso I have been doing, but I was tired because of things that were a bit unnecessary. (Cleaning is a must though, being OC is not.)

I have always heard it being said that one has to strike a balance between work and fun. But how do you actually do that when having fun requires energy as well? haha! Am I being silly? I just think that there's always too little time to do all the things you want to do, be with people you want to be with.

Take for example my habit of not getting enough sleep. I have always been alright with not getting enough sleep. If I slept at around 3am studying, I could still get up at 6am. I don't feel the difference between a 4 hour sleep and an 8 hour sleep. (I do get bothered by eye bags and pimples kaya I make an effort to at least get 7-8 hours of eye shut.) And maybe the reason behind this habit is I feel there's more that would be accomplished when I'm awake. Sleeping doesn't cross out an item in my overwhelmingly long to - do list.

I'm beginning to sound like an overly obsessed workaholic. I am NOT.

I have to stop spreading myself way too thin. I know I have to live out a healthier life style.
Now, if I could just start....

CONTENTMENT is the attitude of gratefulness and peace
born out of trust and surrender to the will of God in every circumstance.

As I was browsing through the net last Saturday, I came across this story. During that time I was in an anxious mood. I was thinking about the very near future where I would fend for myself and eventually for my own family. But as I read the story I realized that I don't need a lot to be happy. Read on.

Philip Parham tells the story of a rich industrialist who was disturbed to find a fisherman sitting lazily beside his boat. "Why aren't you out there fishing?" he asked.

"Because I've caught enough fish for today," said the fisherman.
"Why don't you catch more fish than you need?' the rich man asked.
"What would I do with them?"

"You could earn more money," came the impatient reply, "and buy a better boat so you could go deeper and catch more fish. You could purchase nylon nets, catch even more fish, and make more money. Soon you'd have a fleet of boats and be rich like me."

The fisherman asked, "Then what would I do?"
"You could sit down and enjoy life," said the industrialist.
"What do you think I'm doing now?" the fisherman replied as he looked placidly out to sea.

Our Daily Bread, May 18, 1994.

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Contentment, at first, feels like sour graping for me.

"Ooh I really want an SLR camera. But I can't afford it right now. I do have a point and shoot. And besides I'd rather be the subject than the photographer."

Sour - graping, I tell you. It does make me feel better though; convincing myself that I don't really want something that I really want. But after sometime, sour - graping turns into a realization. A realization that says "I really do want that thing, but I can't afford it, so maybe later on, when I have the money and I still want it badly, then maybe I'd buy it."

Why so chatty with contentment? Well, living as me, I'd say I have been pretty much handed everything I needed and most of what I wanted. I have experienced living in luxury when I was young. But I have also experienced living in lack. I guess what I mean is that I have realized what really matters.

The desire for beautiful, shinny things is still there. But I have learned to suppress those desires to make way for things that are of more value.

At the risk sounding preachy, I'd like to post my favorite verse at the moment, " I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ. Phil 3:8"

Little Goals

Last Wednesday, for lack of anything to do, Gayle and I decided to have new ID’s made. It only took five minutes. We had new ID’s, with the UP Centennial Logo. If you look at our ID’s almost 7years ago and compare it with what we have now, my gosh, so much has changed. And I’m not only talking about the ID format itself, but our pictures as well. I looked so jologs then! Haha.

Anyway, after meeting with Pau we decided to text everyone and go to Gayle’s house to hang out. We watched Shutter. (Well, they watched the movie, I had my eyes covered almost the whole time! Haha)

After that, as we we’re having snacks Gayle’s Dad, who was eating with us, suddenly asked us a question, “Do you plan your life?” No one answered. We just looked at each other and stared. Personally, I do have plans, but my plans are a bit general and vague. Also, my goals are mostly short – termed. So the question really caught me by surprise and I don’t think Tito would be impressed with what I had to say. So I kept quiet.

He then proceeded by telling us a story about a guy climbing a mountain. He was with a partner. On their way up, they had some difficulty and one of the guys fell. He broke his arm and he was in terrible pain. At that point, he had two choices, either go on or give up and die.

The guy decided to go one in spite of the pain. To keep him going, he set short goals instead of thinking of the whole distance he has to cover. He aimed to cover a certain distance in 20 minutes.

Tito said that we should set achievable goals. We shouldn’t think ahead of ourselves because we usually would get discouraged. Realistic goals would keep us from disappointment.

Examples of achievable goals for October:
- Finish the pustisos I am making by the end of next week.
- Finish my bunot requirements by the end of the sem.

Indeed, having achieved something by the end of a month or a week or even a day, does a lot in our willingness to wake up and start another day, to finish another goal. And these little goals make up an ultimate goal. Life seems easier this way, don’t you think? “,