See you later, beyotch!

I’m getting better at it – dealing with grief because of lost of a loved one.
Not more than 3 years ago, I lost one of the most special people in my life. And just a week ago, I lost one of my dear friends.

I have known J for over 8 years now. We have been close friends when she was 15 and I was just 18 years old. She was the one who knew all my secrets. And I mean all of them. It was true what most people said, with her, you can let your guards down because as a friend, you are assured that she’ll never judge and she’ll always care.
We were mean when we were together back then. We’d lash out on guys that pissed us off. We would ignore anyone na di namin feel. She’d tolerate my kaartehans and all my flirtations with guys. It was fun. Not good fun but fun fun.
It came to a point when I felt I outgrew her. I “left” her because I felt I was too mature to be acting like her. But in hinds view, I wasn’t any more mature than she was. I just pretended I was. And I knew I hurt her in ways only she could have tolerated.

Years passed and we stayed connected because we “had” to. It was just a year ago when I finally said I missed her. And after that our hostility toward each other was lessened. Friendship like before was not restored to its original state but I was happy I could talk to her again, even if it was just about shoes and fashion.
Tuesday night last week, J got into an accident. She was in terrible shape when she was brought to the hospital. Tita A called me and said she wanted to talk to my mom. I had no idea what it was about until my mom responded with a hysterical “ano?!”. My parents rushed to the hospital to be with J’s parents. But my brother and I stayed home because we were afraid we couldn’t handle seeing our friend in a dire condition.

Before morning broke, J suffered from several cardiopulmonary arrests, five broken ribs, multiple skull fractures and a lot of broken bones all over her body before she finally breathed her last.

We were not able to say goodbye. Regret sucks.

Grief from losing J and memories of grief from losing Txian flooded me that day. Everything was all too familiar. But I think I handled it better this time.
Losing someone hurts, whether if it’s because of an accident or a sickness or whatever cause. Regret over words unsaid and things undone haunts. But one of the most comforting facts is that I know that J is in a better place – all “prettified” – just the way she would want it!

She will be sorely missed. Her loud laughter would forever ring in the silence of CCF’s halls. Her passion for life and her joy for the little things will be treasured. And my memory of a dear little sister, my partner in crime, my beyotch (oh yeah we used to call each other b*tch! Haha), my biggest fashion critic will be kept until the day we meet again.

(To J; wag mo kong ichismis dyan. Haha. We love you. I love you. I hope in some way you felt that, even if words were left unsaid.)

Update at Last

Bulaga!
Haha. I’m back – not primarily because I miss blogging but because I ran out of things to do. I don’t want to run on the treadmill without the DVD player because it’s so boring. I did not go to the dinner date slash basketball game with my friends because I’m broke. I’ve read all my latest magazines – twice! I watched all the latest episodes of Gossip Girl and Glee. I ran out of things to do.
But there are lots to write about. So let’s start..

Retail Therapy. I’ve recently discovered how a little shopping could go a long way in terms of cheering me up. I know I’m on the road to ruins. Thank God I’m still dependent on the allowance I’m given because if I’m earning my own money, things could be worse. Whenever I’m in a rut, I’d find a way to go somewhere I could buy something. If I have the money, I’d usually splurge on beauty products, especially make – up. If I don’t I’d still look for something that’s cheap. Just yesterday, I was feeling really low, so on the way to UP, I passed by National Bookstore and I looked around. I did not need anything in particular. But when I saw those colorful highlighters, I wanted to buy one in each color. Good thing I just had around 60 pesos in my pocket – I bought two, orange and green. I rationalized that I’d soon be reviewing for the board exams so might as well buy highlighters to prop me up. Besides, I heard that green and orange stimulate the mind.

And so I’m broke. I know I need to get a hold of myself. But it just feels so good. Lalo na pag may hawak na kong paper bag ng Faceshop or Body Shop. Ayayay!

Moving on. Dr. T, one of my favorite professors, had recently been nominated to be dean of our dear college. As most would remember, Dr. T is the one who gave me failing grades twice (or was it thrice?). He’s very strict and has unbreakable ideals. Lately though, I’ve been witness to his slight change of character. I’ve seen him around some of his preclinical students and he was amazingly, unbelievably nice. He has been a teacher more than half of his life.

Another professor, Dr.M, is also nominated. He’s also a favorite because he’s always been nice to me. I enjoy his lectures and his exams as they are practical. Anyway, I admire his flagship for the college. It was simple and direct.

If for loyalty’s sake, I’d prefer Dr.T to be dean. Of course, I’m biased because he’s my favorite teacher. But all candidates are great teachers. And I’d love to see those plans in action.

Enough. I’m moving on to my next post..

Puerto Galera is Nothing Special

I just have to do this.

Internet addiction. That’s my alibi for not updating. Facebook, Twitter, Lookbook, Chictopia, and shopping through Multiply. Ayaayaaay! I need to get a hold of myself.

Anyway, I’ve been reading my friends’ blogs and I realized I have to write about my Puerto Galera trip a week ago. So here goes.. as far as my very faulty short term memory serves me….

The girls have been planning a trip since last year, but plans only pushed through a week ago. We went to PG (go figure). I was very glad that my parents allowed me to go. Well, of course, I know for a fact that the people I’m with were plus factors for the “permission granted” as they were close family friends and church mates, siguro my dad thought they were all “good”. Haha. Kidding.

I’m not a fan of sleeping that’s why I didn’t have trouble waking up at 3:30am to prepare for the trip. I didn’t sleep much on the way there either. I spent the hours stuck in traffic in SLEX looking out the window and trying not to think about anything. That was when I saw one of my professors. He was, of course, driving a car and I couldn’t possibly try to wave him down to say hello. But even if I could, I wouldn’t. haha. It was just a pleasant surprise to see him.

When we arrived at Batangas Port, I was a bit anxious. I have never planned a vacation on my own. I have never gone on a trip without having secured reservations first. During our trip, C and M said we would just deal with everything as we go along; no reservations whatsoever. Good thing we had “I” and A with us. They were the ones who handled “transactions”. I felt I was in good hands. Naks!

After a one - hour boat ride, we finally arrived at PG. My first thought was that it’s a smaller version of Boracay, mainly because of the numerous stalls of souvenir shops along the beach. It was highly commercialized, just like Boracay. The difference is, it’s way cheaper in PG.

It was lunch when we arrived and I have not eaten a decent breakfast - I was starving. So I was silently urging them to just get any hotel room so we could go eat. But “I”was very meticulous; checking the rooms, comparing prices… it’s a good thing though because we were able to save a lot of moola because of his undisputed haggling skills.

Food in PG was nothing special. Period.

What I particularly enjoyed during our trip was the banana boat ride. Snorkeling was fun too, but the current was just so strong. Na-lamog lang kami. Although the banana boat ride wasn’t painless, it was more fun than being dragged into coral reefs. Di ba Jenna? Before we went onto the “banana” my friends said that the experience would be like riding the Space Shuttle in EK. But it felt nothing like that. Space Shuttle is more frightening. The BBR (figure it out again) experience was just.. chill. Haha. The exciting part is the “Drop”. Although, thinking about it now, I didn’t enjoy salt water up my nostrils. Ugh.

So I guess PG is nothing special to me. Food, accommodations, the beach – it was just nice but not extraordinarily nice. What I did love about my weekend there was that I was able to spend time with my most trusted friends. Some of these friends I have known for years. I know they genuinely love me and care for me. I also enjoyed discovering new and interesting things about these friends. Haha. We should do that more often – the “tough questions – tough answers” portion. Loved it!

Ooh this is getting a bit long. And my short term memory is about to fail me. I couldn’t probably write all the details but know that this is trip is going down my “top list”.

Credits:

To the organizers, C, M and J; thank you for researching and for not reserving anything. Haha. It made the experience more exciting. Seriously, thanks for coordinating. It must have been a bit frustrating lalo na if kami yung kasama. Haha.

To Ate A and I: Thanks for being the best “hagglers”. Haha. Thanks for taking initiative always. You two are always a step ahead of everyone else.

To the Beloved Princess: I enjoyed sharing a bed with you. Behave e. haha. Thanks for the devotion that morning. I’ll share with you what I experienced pa pala.

Kuya M: Now I know not to talk to you when you lack sleep. Haha. Kulit. Thanks for being our “kuya”.

To S: Thanks for coming, Had lots of fond (and not so fond) memories with you. Stay annoying. Kidding.

To those who weren’t able to go: be sure to be on the next trip. Palawan daw on December! Woot!”,